mmm....did nothing today....didnt message her and stuffs...so anyway....my dad came today and told me privately on future plans and im not really looking forward to it...cause i i know i have to work real hard now......considering the facts on future studies and the facts that i want to have my own car and stuffs like that....im practically being an idiot now actually.....knowing she wont msg me initiatively and yet im not making an effort to msg her...and the reason? i know shes out and having a good time and i dont wanna disturb her.....stupid right? i mean shouldnt i at least make an effort to at least msg her and ask how shes doing? so anyway...... she cant confirm if she can make it this coming friday and i dont think im pinning much hopes actually.....so yah....honestly speaking....i think she wont fall for me...so all these while...i had always tried not to get so close but when she told me shes not ready kinda stuffs 2 days back.....i felt its gone case already...felt so much like she stepped on my heart and my heart bursted.....then when she told me she still liked someone else.....it got so much worse when i had to claim that i will make a step backwards so that she can choose to be with him....its like im making hell for myself...haix..so called try to be a hero the first day to know that im loser the 2nd day...... please tell me gravity was the reason why my tears fell..... =*(